Mantis Encounter!

Yesterday I became troubled upon an altercation I stumbled into as I crossed over to the Walgreens. Now, ordinarily I do not stop for anything that looks like it needs my help, because this is a ploy that many burglars and mafia people will use to ensnare foolish people into, but I will stop to help three things: (1) worms, (2) turtles, and (3) praying mantis people. Today will be my last praying mantis helper day due to anger caused to me in the story which follows this paragraph.

As I was making my street crossings to the sausage pickle basket egg cheese emporium where I like to purvey Monday mornings, I crossed paths with a gentleman who looked like he needed my help as he was much smaller than my foot and I almost stepped directly atop his head and brain region. I stopped short when I saw him and could tell this was no ordinary man. It was a praying mantis. He was sitting in the street and praying. Ordinarily I leave people alone when they pray as it has not gotten me the things I wanted when I have interrupted them in the past. But due to the size of this gentleman, I thought I would let him know he had picked a dangerous place to worship. There are many cars, trucks, bicycles, and robots that could easily run a mantis right down. So I surveyed the ground and grabbed a nearby stick with which I began prodding his person to let him know the time had come to wrap it up and move on.

He spun his head around to look at me and we had a good staring match. I said, “Excuse me,” and suggested that he move, but I have never communicated with a mantis and didn’t know which vocabulary words with which he would be familiar.

He appeared angry as he took a step towards me. I backed up a little out of terror and he stepped another foot towards me. This continued for several hours until I was very hungry and needed to stop in for a quick bite, so I grabbed a cookie biscuit at a bakery and then continued the chase with the vicious mantis. I yelled “I am trying to help you,” but he would not relent. I could not go directly home, because then he would know the locale of my dwellings and that thought was disquieting. I ran in a zig zag pattern for about an hour to throw him off, but he had his wits about him and followed my every move.

I ran to a department store because I knew the mantis would not want to venture on the likes of an escalator, and I needed a new pair of slacks. So I went to Goldblatt's but it was closed for remodeling and instead was the Department of Human Services which was fine with me because I need to renew my city sticker and also the services of removing the mantis from my path.

Scared to make the walk home all alone, I rang for Paul to come get me. He was headed out for drinks but said he would come get me in a few hours. This was fine because I've been meaning to count the dots on my left arms for some time, and this allowed me the chance to do this.

As a postlude, I do want to add that Paul has done a couple nice things for me lately. Yesterday, on the drive home I saw a robot-bicycle-man propelling himself down a street. I yelled "Who's that robot!" and Paul informed me that it was a just man on a bike. It was nice for him to calm me, because he knows that I don't trust robots, vacuum cleaners, belts, or anything you can build a robot out of.

The other nice thing he did was to get me a new stereo. I had complained that when I listen to my phone calls I am always frightened at the sound of my voice because it sounds like a burglar man or a specter has broken into the stereo to hex me and that is something I find alarming. It is a stereo from a car, and how he got it I don't know, but I wonder if the gash on his hand has anything to do with it. I don't know how to hook up a car stereo to my speakers, but I imagine I will tie some wires to it to get it working in no time for tea.

I'm sorry, did you just say something?

Alright honey, bye-bye.