Computer Window

As my faithful readers will know, I am very new to a computer. I know this blog makes me sound as if an expert in what I know, but each post takes me many an hour to post, what with grammaticals and what with all the hyperlinks for me to click on when I post. There are many questions that I have for how to do certain things, like is it possible to make my computer my only appliance. Can I wash my dishes and store food in it somehow? I know I don't have the capability now, but perhaps there is a “patch” that will make it better? I have no idea about these things.

I called a computer man to ask him for help, but the first thing he wanted to know was “Does your computer have windows or is it an apple?” This was confusing to me, because I know I’m not using an apple to type, so I deduced that this was a joke. But upon closer inspection of my computer, there are also no windows on my computer. I told this to the man on the phone and he said I would first need to have windows on my computer in order to make it work properly.

So now I am in contact with a window installation man. His ad promised “Low Cost Quality Window & Siding Installation,” and since I need low cost I went with him. Now that I am in the computer world, I will contact him by email. I will use the big letters in my email so they know I am serious and mean business. All my correspondence will be preserved and presented here to ensure I’m getting quality customer service. I will keep you updated on any response so you can be a witness that good customer service is being had. I will keep you updated when I hear back from them.

From: Madge Fairwell
To: Service@window...
Date: Aug 13, 2007, 8:49 AM Subject: Windows Installation

DEAR SIRS:

I HAVE A PROBLEM FOR YOUR HELP. A WEEK AGO MY FRIEND SOPHIE DIED UNEXPECTEDLY WHEN SHE TRAGICALLY BREATHED TOO FAST AND LEFT ME A COMPUTER IN HER STEAD WHICH WAS NICE OF HER. I'D RATHER HAVE MY FRIEND THAN THE COMPUTER, BUT THE COMPUTER DISTRACTS ME FROM MISSING HER TOO BAD, WHAT WITH ALL THE THINGS I CAN DO. IT DOESN'T EAT ALL THE MIX WHEN WE PLAY BRIDGE TOGETHER WHICH IS NICE. THAT SENTENCE WAS A JOKE TO HELP ME MOVE ON. LAUGHTER IS A SALVE.

I CONTACT YOU TO HAVE WINDOWS INSTALLED ON HER COMPUTER. SOPHIE'S DAUGHTER TOLD ME THE COMPUTER IS READY TO GO, AND IT WORKS FOR THE THINGS I LIKE TO DO WITH IT LIKE TYPING AND CORRESPONDENCE WITH OTHERS. UNFORTUNATELY I HAVE MANY QUESTIONS AND WOULD UTILIZE THE ANSWERS TO ENHANCE MY COMPUTER EXPERIENCE. I CALLED THE MAN AT THE COMPUTER STORE FOR HELP SETTING UP A WEBCAMERA FOR MY PICKLE CHEESE BASKETS. HE ASKED IF THE COMPUTER HAS WINDOWS WHICH IT DOES NOT. THERE ARE VENTS ON THE BACK BUT HE SAID THOSE DON'T COUNT AS WINDOWS. I WOULD NEED WINDOWS FOR HIM TO HELP ME.

PLEASE HELP ME BY ANSWERING THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS SO I CAN CALL THE MAN BACK:

1) EXPLAIN PLEASE HOW THIS IS DONE WITHOUT HARMING THE COMPUTER BOX?

2) WHAT ARE THE SMALLEST WINDOWS YOU CAN INSTALL? I WOULD LIKE THEM TO BE SMALL ENOUGH TO NOT BE A NUISSANCE BUT BIG ENOUGH FOR ME TO ENJOY VIEWS THROUGH THEM.

3) WHAT ARE WE LOOKING AT FOR PRICE? I AM ON A FIXED INCOME AND NEED TO SPEND NOT MUCH.

4) WILL A MAN COME TO ME FOR INSTALLATION? A MAN BETWEEN 35 AND 50 WOULD BE THE MOST INTERESTING TO ME AS I AM NOT MARRIED.

5) CAN YOU ALSO DO HOUSE WINDOWS? A CHURCH FRIEND OF MINE HAS A DARK WINE CELLAR AND I WOULD LIKE TO GIFT HER WITH ONE IN IT.

THANK YOU.

MISS FAIRWELL